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Kissing Style
In
"Do Women Really Relate Sex To Dancing, "I wrote that whether men are
aware of it or not, a majority of women judge a man's love potential by
the way he moves his body alone. And judging by the personal experience
responses that I received, it seems that many people agree with me that
passionate dance moves also say passionate lover.
But can we also judge a man's love potential just by the way he
kisses? Some women I have spoken to say, yes. They say that if a man
is a "lousy" kisser (either he rushes in full-throttle
practically eating away your face, drools so much you have to wipe your
mouth after being kissed or is very tightlipped and stingy with
his tongue) he will also be lousy in bed. They also say that a woman
should not expect the man who does not want to kiss, does not
seem to enjoy kissing, does not have the desire to kiss
regularly or is centered on his own needs to do "other things" well. A
good kisser, they say, makes for a good lover because a good
kisser is soft, gentle and patient. He pays attention to the woman's
responses, takes his time to find out what she wants and makes her feel,
special, wanted and desired.
But there are other women who say it is fairly shallow to judge a man
only by the way he kisses. A bad kisser could have a
radiant personality and a brilliant mind. Some men, they say, may be
great kissers but are uptight in some areas, bad communicators or
are arrogant and just want to show off their skill. These women also say
some great kissers are good at it because they have had a lot of
practice but are not necessarily good lovers.
From my own personal experience, I can't honestly say I don't and have
never judged a man by the way he kisses alone. If a man is a bad
kisser, well, that's probably the last time we will see each
other. If his technique is sensuous, rhythmic, creative and purposeful,
I will give him a second chance even if he has a speech impediment. But
if he's selfish, rude, controlling, immature, talks about himself or
only cares about his needs, I don't care how fantastic he is as a
kisser, goodbye!
What makes a man a good love potential is not just his ability to kiss,
but his ability to express himself sexually through kissing.
There is a lot that a tantalizing kiss can communicate in the
all-important area of courtship. And girlfriend, you'll save yourself
all sorts of frustration and heartache just by making yourself aware of
the unspoken messages conveyed just by the way a kiss is delivered. And
guys, if you can master the art of kissing with inner feeling,
you are in a better position to make a "wow" impression than someone who
thinks of kissing just as away to get a woman between the sheets.
- Is he
comfortable with intimacy? An ace kisser puts his whole body
and emotion into the kiss. He wants to be close. He tells his
affection with plenty of lip-action. Each kiss is a build-up
of the feelings and emotions coming from within and exploding into
your own inner being. You feel desired, wanted and adored. On the
other hand, the man who is uncomfortable with intimacy will find it
difficult to do all the other intimate things that may not even be
sexual per se such as sitting next to you, holding hands, hugging,
and cuddling.
- Is he
sensitive? Yes, he may be burning with desire for you but he's got
to slowly and carefully work you up to the same speed not wolf down
your entire head with his wide open mouth or shove his tongue so far
down the back of your throat that you practically gasp for air. And
if he is slobbering you, he is not necessarily a bad kisser, and
sensitively letting him know might just save the date. If he is a
good man, he'll appreciate your honesty. If he acts up... let the
caveman go.
- Is he
attentive? Can he accurately - well almost - judge where you are and
respond in kind? Kissing is a matter of personal taste, what
one woman likes isn't going to always work for another. If a man
tells you that you will love his kissing because other women
have, chances are he is the one-size-fits-all type. A genuine
Casanova will ask for pointers when getting to know you and not
assume that because he has kissed other women who liked it, you are
going to like it too. You are not just another woman. You are
special.
- Is he
a control freak? Though we women enjoy a man who's in control, we
also want to take charge sometimes. You can tell if a man is a
control freak or not from his willingness to learn from you; does he
sometimes allow himself to sit back, relax and let you come to him
or is he always chasing you with his tongue and hands.
- Is he
for real? Watch and listen for signs of pleasure. The man who's
taken the time to be affectionate enjoys the kiss just as
much as he enjoys kissing. He is turned on by just being in
your personal space and his passion draws you in. But if your man is
breaking a sweat from the effort (not from chemistry) he's just
doing it to fulfill what he thinks is an obligation.
- Is he
creative and spontaneous? Kissing in the same way for
prolonged periods of time can get really boring and so does burying
his tongue in your mouth and sticking on your lips like a vacuum. A
good kisser teases your senses; he varies style and pressure using
both the smooth and rough side of the tongue, tickles your neck,
whispers in your ear... And kissing isn't just for the lips
only: earlobes, shoulders and all the other parts that feel good to
you.
- Is he
clean? Does he take care of his health and grooming? A man who
thinks of your needs will know that bad breath (very strong garlic
or beer smell when you've had none) can spoil the mood. Beware of
those who cover poor hygiene with so much after shave or cologne
that you can smell him coming before he arrives. If you can not
smell his pheromones, he has on too much after shave or cologne.
- Is he
just another jerk? Does he kiss like the kiss is an
end in itself? Or is he using it as something he does on the way to
something else (sex)? If a man is grabbing your ass, bra or front of
your pants and trying to find your lips at the same time, trust me
on this one, it's not about the kiss. It's all about him and his
needs.
- But
most importantly are you enjoying the kiss? If you are not
enjoying the kiss then something is just not right. And your
gut will let you know even if your head is trying to tell you
otherwise. A really good kiss should leave you wanting more
of him, not leave you with raw lips or a sore face and a desperate
need to forget what just happened.
One more
thing, even bad kissers are trainable. The best way to help a man
open up is simply to be open yourself, be natural, be real and exude an
atmosphere of warmth and acceptance. As it so happened when Beauty
kissed the Beast, some people are wonderfully transformed when they
are kissed. Your Caveman may be one who needs you to kiss him
many, many times. Good luck with that.
About the Author
Source: goarticles.com
By
Christine Akiteng is an internationally renown Dating Coach, Sexual
Confidence Expert and Erotic Educator with a unique and fresh outlook to
what love is really about and what we can expect from our sexual
relations. If you enjoyed reading this article check out Christine's
Website: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com for more articles.
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